These songs are ghosts they leave no footprints. Instead, Maroon 5’s music just slips past me, into the ether. I don’t have that kind of energy for them. Their songs aren’t distinctive enough to inspire hatred. When it comes to Maroon 5’s actual songs, though, I have the rough equivalent of face blindness. I would probably recognize Adam Levine if he was standing right in front of me. They’ve dome something right, and there are people in the world who appreciate their efforts. ![]() Early in their career, Maroon 5 hit upon a sort of agreeable, easy-to-ignore blue-eyed-soul thing, and they tweaked that formula over the years, somehow riding the zeitgeist and usually staying somewhere near the top of the pop charts. Adam Levine spent a long time on a popular TV show where the whole premise was that he’s a pop star helping other singers on their way to pop stardom. They’ve sold millions upon millions of records. I’m not sure I’ve ever met a Maroon 5 fan. But I feel pretty safe, since I don’t think Maroon 5 fans are the belligerent, gun-toting type. If this mythical person demands to hear more Maroon 5, then it’s been an honor to write this column for all of you, and I’ll see you on the other side. I’ll be like, “ This! Love! Has! Take-en con-trol! Of me!” Then I’ll kind of trail off for a few seconds and look beseechingly at my would-be assassin. ![]() If I’m ever in one of those hypothetical situations where someone puts a gun to my head and demands that I sing a Maroon 5 song, I think I’ll make it out of there OK. In The Number Ones, I’m reviewing every single #1 single in the history of the Billboard Hot 100, starting with the chart’s beginning, in 1958, and working my way up into the present.
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